two sides, but how many coins?

you could call it a silver lining, but i prefer to look at it as "half empty". the joys of wisconsin weather that is.

take pumping milk for example. when it is frigid, i curse the arctic air as i pump milk in my car "at work". since i work out of my car, that is my office! as work places are required by law to have a place where nursing moms can pump milk, i offer a luxurious reclining front seat, radio with cd player, and even a cup holder. however climate control is often a bit rough as the car seems to cool off considerably after being turned off for an hour. brr. exposed breasts are cold breasts.

it stands to reason that with warm weather i will stop complaining, but unfortunately my memory is too good to claim that. back in july and september I was busy whining about trying to keep the pumped milk cold in the car all day long. loading (and unloading) my car daily with my workbag and laptop, my lunch, my water bottle, a separate cooler of milk for baby and toddler at daycare, diapers and wipes for daycare, breastpump and bottles, inhaler for toddler, and a baby in a carrier was just about all i could handle. add another cooler and ice pack and i would tip over. onto the ground. and it is very hard to get up holding all the aforementioned things.

baby olympics

imagine an Olympic diver. she has just moments before entering the water to twist, turn, contort, flex and extend. amazing. now picture that same Olympic diver at 11 months and i can tell you what she is doing: twisting, turning, contorting, flexing and extending! all this while her buns are covered in poo. baby L's new extreme sport is diaper wrestling while mom and dad attempt to clean crevices and fasten BOTH sides of the diaper to her wriggling, inverted body (sorry, no partial credit for one side of a diaper...falls right off you'll soon find).

i am very relieved to know that our baby monitor is pointed at the crib and not the changing table. i thought only turtles could bend their necks that far!? i glance guiltily over my shoulder as i try to pin her down hoping these memories leave no scar (on me!... i mean HER). occasionally i can distract her with something really good like a fragile, electronic device or a bottle with a choking sized cap... and curse the articles and books that led me to believe that babies actually want to have a clean diaper. those were obviously written by someone with a twisted, turning, contorting sense of humor.

why we weren't in madison... today

what to write about? the return of shark teeth to mom's nipple or yet another day of toddler sickness in 2011? why not both? kind of a "kick her while she's down" feature!
the author of my feeding book mentions she is surprised by the high rate that kids are ill: approximately 6-12 times per year. however, when i read that statistic, i felt pure envy. ONLY 6-12 times? how lovely, how manageable!
as we have already been to urgent care several times this year and are on day 5 of a high fever, i can only daydream. but sick kids aren't that surprising. these are the same darlings who attempt to eat rocks and table legs, and i find myself a little behind when it comes to sanitizing such items...
however, what to do with these ill children when both parents are working? and grandma is working? and grandpa is in las vegas? and no one (including school and day care) wants to snuggle up with the little germballs?
dad "working from home" is becoming more hilarious by the day. instead of rocking in a swing, baby L is reading all the books (with her teeth) and pulling up to stand (using the open toilet). it used to be that toddler C could be entertained by a favorite video, but for some reason he is not as easily pacified when he hears Diego's voice but sees an 11 month old slapping the television (i guess we do need a wall mounted flat screen afterall).
i have flexed my flexible job to the near breaking point with rearranged schedules and days off. how do women working full-time, inflexible jobs do it? i sure don't know. and in our 'freetime' we are still trying to pump milk!!
which brings us back (sort of) to baby land shark. she has now thankfully changed her nibbling technique from the clamp and pull (in order to detach mom's nipple, presumably) to the snapping turtle bite and hold. at least with the bite and hold i know that she is merely expressing recently learned lessons about the resistance movement and how to stand your ground, which she obviously picked up the day we did go to rally in madison.

A day in the life of Mr. C

So today Mr. C popped up at the break of dawn and created a beautiful line of matchbox cars along his train tracks. He also demanded mom stop singing poppy tunes and sing rock and roll, "you know" he confided, " with fast drums and guitars that go neer, na neer." I obliged (but still can't find a record label that wants to put it out...). He raced me half way around the block and tried to push Baby L's stroller back up the hill. He colored Loretta Lynn on a tractor (?). He did a wild dancing and singing "show" for mom and Baby L. He created an urban street scene on the window sills. He practiced pedaling his Diego big wheel in the basement (finally!! thought that kid was gonna fred flintstone around forever!). He shoveled snow and sprinkled salt in opposition to this tiring Wisconsin weather. He was Spiderman, Wolverine, and Spiderman/Wolverine.. a dashing super hero that clings to the side of cribs, spins a web and is ready to scratch you as you chase him in literal circles around the house while he dons a Buzz Lightyear pajama top, Spiderman shorts, and socks on his hands (web shooters, duh).
All this on his day off from school. Excuse me, did I say day off? I meant his day home SICK from school. Couldn't you tell? Those antibiotics sure do kick in fast (less than 18 hours!) Oh, and no nap either.

baby talk

if you want to drive a parent crazy, tell them you heard their baby say a new word that they haven't heard the baby say yet. it's maddening. not only that, but it makes a liar out of an otherwise honest mom. "oh yeah, she says that", I heard myself saying!?! poor Baby L was stuck listening to me repeat the same word over and over all night in smiling desperation. she didn't budge.

milestone madness

how quickly we forget. baby's eagerly anticipated milestones are really just little jokes on the parents. what makes the joke funnier is how the punch line repeats!

take our sweet tiny electrician. Baby L is the quickest cord finder in the (mid)West. put this baby down on the floor and before you can say "ah yes my baby has met her 9 month milestones" she is grabbing, gooing and preparing to gobble table legs, cement ledges, extension cords. what were we thinking as we cheered her on towards vibrating zebras and rolling bongo drums? did we really delude ourselves into thinking that crawling meant she would zoom from toy to toy happily occupying her time? or perhaps selecting a magazine to page through?
sadly (for a certain three year old boy), the only actual toys she seems to be interested in motoring towards are the ones involving intricate tracks. you know, the ones that mom secretly wants to hide because they require more patience than mom, baby and toddler have in order to reassemble (thanks a lot aunt E.).
thankfully, we won't have to worry about this crawling business much longer because soon she will be walking! oh shoot.

baby geometry

so if the protractor is the semi circle, then the compass must be the baby with its unmoving point on the mama's nipple and the arm.. well her arm! and what an arc it swings! with a radius no greater than the length of the arm, this living compass can cause quite a bit of mischief.
for starters, have you have ever wondered why babies refuse to wear mittens? it is to increase comedic effect when they come in to eat and place their icicle hands on the warmest part of mom's body. and they must know you can't yell at them for having cold hands..
next come the razor sharp nails that go of in search of new flesh to scratch, but alas they cannot find it. that's right! the limits of the radius confine baby to the same scratching area (much to mom's dismay).
before you started breastfeeding, you probably imagined that the babies under those nursing covers were sucking peacefully. now you wonder why you ever introduced the game of peek-a-boo, as baby doesn't mind playing this while feeding and exposing your breasts to.. everyone!
and finally, the slightly uncomfortable fondling and caressing. Baby L's favorite nursing pastime is simply grabbing the free nipple to hold, flick, pinch (ouch) and wiggle. who knew?